Jan Good: Finding encouragement at the end of life
"I think hope is a noun and His name is Jesus. My future is secure now. My hope is in the Lord."
I was raised in Alaska and when it was time to go to college, my parents decided I should come to Texas to attend school. I met my husband at Dallas Baptist and we have one daughter, a wonderful son-in-law and three fantastic grandchildren. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2008. I was blessed to have a straightforward doctor who told me right from the beginning that we could beat it and tt turned out well. They were able to do surgery, and I didn’t have to have chemo or radiation or any other treatment.
But in the early summer of 2014 I happened to notice a lump on the back side of my left leg which led me to an orthopedic surgeon. I had an X-ray done and when the doctor came into the room, he had tears in his eyes. “It looks like it is sarcoma.”
The original genomic testing came back and there were no matches to chemo drugs that would be effective in fighting my tumor. I looked at the numbers and it said zero. I had about 10 surgeries and there just didn’t seem to be much hope. At one point they told me we were shooting arrows in the dark. I thought about my grandbabies. I wanted to be able to love on them and have them come to know their moma…enjoy a good relationship with them and with our daughter. I didn’t want that to be taken away because I think we find our most joy just in being with each other.
That’s where I was back then. Over time my focus and perspective turned to looking upward, and realizing that my big hope, the big H, is always, has always been in the Lord. I think hope is a noun and His name is Jesus. My future is secure now. My hope is in the Lord. He knew when I was a little bitty girl, that the day would come when that doctor would tell me that I had sarcoma. It didn’t come as a surprise to Him. And I looked for the day when I am totally, totally the way He wants me to be. When I will have complete peace, and it will last forever. That is my hope.